Here’s a sample of photos from Kaden’s tumbling class. You can totally tell he enjoys it, can’t you?

Kaden played pretty well by himself and with the other toddlers, but what impressed me most was how he helped the instructor put away building blocks when play time was over. He neatly stacked them against the wall. Now, Kyle and I have noticed lately that although Kaden looks like his daddy, he has my Type A personality. Yes, ladies and gents, he is going to be anal, organized and attentive to detail just like his mama. Oh boy. Now, this could be awesome. He could keep a clean bedroom, finish his English research paper with all his i’s dotted and t’s crossed, color code his closet and alphabetize his books… or… he could drive me nuts because he is just like me

Here is more evidence he is Type A. I use this metal rolling shelf in the bathroom to store my makeup bag and other bath items. A couple weeks ago, Kaden rolled it out to the TV room, and when I came out to see what he was up to, I found a toddler’s life organized as such (see slideshow).

All funniness aside, Kaden continues to amaze us every day. Again, going back to tumbling class. He was playing and pointed out a triangle. He knew the shape. I am certain I never taught him the difference between circles, squares and triangles, but he knew it. Kyle and I looked at each other like, “where did he learn that?” Just a week earlier I heard him count to 5. Until now, I thought he could maybe count to 3.

I actually teared up a little as Kaden jumped and hopped across the tumbling pads, because it dawned on me that I don’t give him enough credit. He is one smart kid. He is a toddler, of course, and has his temper tantrums like any other 2 year old, but he is polite and knows when to say thank you and bless you. It warms my heart to know we have a bright, energetic child who likes to learn and be independent.

Other updates in the Zuelke household: We are a step closer to closing on the house, which means we are expecting to move in the next 4-6 weeks. The house is looking strangely bare. Kaden starts swim lessons again next week. We toured a second preschool and think we may have found the place for our young student. I’m torn between the two, but price and 3 great referrals will surely influence our decision. I’m 22 weeks pregnant and have 18 to go! Baby is healthy and has a strong heart and the most perfectly shaped head. He yawned in the last ultrasound, which was really cool to witness. We’re not close to choosing a name and it’s not on my priority list yet.

January is breezing by. What’s new with you?

What do they have to do with one another? A lot, since that is what’s filling our busy lives these days.

Let’s start with packing. We are moving. We haven’t talked much about it because it’s been a process. But, Kyle and I decided to sell our house and rent for a couple years before buying our next home. It’s been a very emotional experience for me. Chalk it up to pregnancy hormones, but deep down inside, I know why it’s emotional. You all know I don’t like change, though I try really hard to embrace it. Still, I love our home. It was our first house together. It was where Kaden was born. There are a lot of memories boxed into 2,000 square feet. And, to leave it is to say goodbye to a chapter in our lives. It’s hard for me. What else can I say?

Kyle looks at the sale with a different set of eyes. He thinks it’s the smartest decision we could make and that it’s a chance to start fresh. It’s true. I know it’s financially smart too. I also know that we’re going to want a bigger house soon. Believe it or not, we’re outgrowing this house with the addition of another Zuelke. So, it’s likely we’ll be settling into another house in the next 4-6 weeks. With that said, we’ve begun to pack up our belongings and the house is already looking bare.

The preschool search has begun. Kyle, Kaden and I toured a potential school on Friday to begin looking at Kaden’s educational options. It was, well, shall I say an eye-opening experience? Kaden was a madman. He ran all over the place, picked up every toy he came into contact with, stuffed batteries into a printer, cried when we asked him to put something down, and at one point, threw a ball at the principal. Awesome. I watched our scholarship dreams crumble. Kidding. But, when she gently said, “He is ready for school,” Kyle and I knew exactly what she meant. She politely was telling us our child needs structure. I do not disagree.

We have another school tour scheduled this Friday, and I’m looking into another couple of schools in our area. Private school isn’t cheap, but neither is daycare or public preschool. I’d rather sacrifice a few extra bills to give Kaden a good education from the start and teach him discipline early. Plus, he needs the stimulation and a social atmosphere where he can meet other children. The principal suggested we put Kaden in school before the baby arrives so he doesn’t feel like he is being pushed out when his brother comes home. It makes perfect sense to us, so the plan is to have Kaden in school by April.

And, now I transition to the third P. You may wonder why Palmolive turns up in this blog. Let me explain. As I showered and blow-dryed my hair on Saturday morning, Kaden sat on the couch watching cartoons. I beamed out of the bathroom every few minutes to check his status. Still in front of the TV. Cool, I can finish getting ready while Kyle is running errands. Next check on Kaden, he’s still sitting on the couch, but holds up something in the air and says, “soap.” “Soap?” I ask myself. As I move in closer, I get this panicked feeling in the pit of my stomach. No, it’s not soap. It’s not Palmolive. It’s my Mac oil-based foundation all over his mouth, his hands, his clothes, the couch, the carpet, the ottoman and a blanket. He was tasting makeup, not soap, which either way is bad!!

“No, no, no, Kaden. Did you eat this?” I am freaking out now because I have no idea if he actually ingested it and how much! I run him to the bathroom sink and flush out his mouth with water. Now he is crying because of my reaction. I finally clean him up and check him over a few times before believing he is okay and not overdosing on chemically-laced makeup. Then I set out to survey the damage, and it is not pretty.

Holy hell. How am I going to get this out of the carpet and couch? I tried the Green Machine, which has never disappointed with any other stain I’ve had to combat… and it didn’t even touch it. Now I really started to panic because an inspection for our house was scheduled for Monday, and the homeowners were planning to attend. I didn’t want them to see stained carpet. About to give up, I turned to the internet. And, therein lied the answer. Palmolive. Well, the page I found suggested Dawn Dish Soap, but I only had Palmolive, so I was going to try it. And, what do you know? Just like that, the stains came out. It brought the oily mess to the surface and wiped right off. The day was saved.

After that whole fiasco, Kyle and I decided we needed a little God in our lives and committed going to church on Sunday. Okay. We decided we were going to church before the shock and awe of the Mac Makeup disaster, but now there was no backing out. This time, we needed a little prayer. We were sure that going to church for the first time with Kaden was going to be another natural disaster. We didn’t have an ounce of faith we would make it through mass, and we were sure Kaden would manage to shove us out the door with all the other parents who attempt to bring their wild, inattentive, screaming toddlers to church. I think at one point Kyle said, “We’ll be lucky if we’re there for 15 minutes.”

God must have answered our prayers, because Kaden was a saint. Well, not exactly. But close enough. He actually was quiet, sat with us or stayed near us, and even sat on Kyle’s lap with his head rested on Kyle’s shoulder. We managed to stay in church for the whole hour. It was nothing short of a miracle.

There were a lot of lessons learned this past weekend. But, if I had two take-away moments they would be to buy Palmolive and ask God to help out every now and then.

The year was a busy one for us, but it sure was fun. We traveled and spent time doing the things we love. Kyle snowboarded in the winter, and I spent more time volunteering with the Junior League. We had a great spring and even more exciting summer. We capped off the year with weddings, more travel and family time during the holidays. I have to say, we spent most of our time admiring Kaden. No, seriously. I think Kaden expects our constant attention now because he interrupts Kyle and I whenever we are trying to have a conversation. Oh boy. He has no idea what’s in store when our new bundle of joy arrives in May.

I’m 34, and I am still trying to find myself. Just when you think you have life all figured out, reality slaps you in the face. The past year has been one of challenges and growth. I completed my first year of League and started my second year of service with high hopes. After a few months, I realized I was on the wrong committee and asked to be moved to another committee where I could make a greater contribution. My new placement is a much better fit, but I feel like I lost valuable time in the process. I barely know my committee members, and I just feel a tad bit behind getting to know the many women in our organization. I’m hoping to delve in more this year, forge new relationships and contribute to changes in my community.

Being a working mother is hard. I write this with guilt (which I hear never goes away once you become a mom), but there are days I can’t wait to get away from the house. I need my space. I need quiet time. I need “me” time. I need to focus. And then, as soon as I have it, I want to go back. I can’t stand to be away from Kaden. I don’t like being apart from Kyle. I guess I truly enjoy being with both, even if it’s having a lazy day at home. I just want to be with them.

And, then… I miss hanging out with friends. This is the hardest pill to swallow. My friendships have changed dramatically in the past 2 years. I lost one of my best friends over something some trivial. We have two completely views on what happened, and it cannot be repaired because I am the only one willing to fix it. I still mourn the loss of our friendship, though there are days I swear I hate her and just vouch to put her out of my mind. In the end, I never would wish anything bad for her, and I have to accept the fact some relationships are irreparable, and you can only walk away with your own dignity knowing you at least tried.

Sometimes I feel like my friendships changed after I had Kaden. And, that may be partly true, but the truth is some of my favorite people simply moved away. And, since they’ve left, I just haven’t developed those same kind of friendships. I find that women, who are mothers my age, seek out friendships with other mothers through their children. While I don’t want to knock mommy groups and play dates, it’s just not really my thing. I’m grateful for a group of women I’ve recently met for welcoming me into their circle, but most of the time their get togethers are inconvenient for me since I work all week. By my day off on Friday, I am running errands, washing laundry and getting caught up. By Saturday, I’m going places, spending time with my family, or hanging with Kaden alone so Kyle can do the things he likes. And by then, those other moms are spending their weekends with their working husbands that they don’t get to see all week. It’s a catch 22.

Wow. It sounds like I am having one big pity party for myself. I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer. In fact, I have much to look forward to in 2012. To start, I have a new baby boy to welcome into this world. I have a solid marriage and a wonderful husband, who will help me nurture our children. I have a fun, energetic, beautiful 2 year old who makes me laugh every day. I have a supportive family that always extends a helping hand when we need it. And, I have a great career that allows Kyle and I a good life. In that, I really don’t have much to complain about.

So, what are my goals for 2012? I’d like to Facebook, iPhone, iPad and TV less and focus more. I could benefit by putting down the technology and getting back to basics. I plan to work hard in Junior League, savor old friendships and make new ones. I’m going to potty train Kaden. I’d also like to blog more, because writing is something I really enjoy, and like today, it’s therapeutic. Last, but not least, I am going to try to chill more, because Kyle says I stress too much and need to learn how to adapt better to change. He is right.

There is only one way to go for me, and that is up. Happy new beginnings to you all.

10 Weeks

I can’t even explain how excited I am to hold a baby in my arms again. Though I love the stage and age of Kaden right now (he is SO much fun), I miss a tiny human being who smells new and finds comfort sleeping on my chest.

Like most everything in my life, this was planned. And just like last time, I didn’t expect it to happen so fast. Unlike last time, my taking a test didn’t spur from feeling sick. In fact, I am happy to report that I have had no morning sickness. I even began to wonder if I really was pregnant before seeing the doctor because I was fully expecting to have my head hanging over the toilet again. Other than feeling extremely tired and overly hungry the first couple of months, this pregnancy so far is cake.

I found out I was pregnant on September 18. Kyle was at work and I decided to take a test. Even though we’ve been trying, I really wasn’t expecting a positive sign to appear. Silly, I know. But, it’s true. I had no one to share my excitement with since Kyle wasn’t home, so I had to come up with a clever way of telling him we were going to have another baby. This is as crafty as I get:

How Kaden and I told Kyle our news

We decided to tell our immediate family the same way and have Kaden clue everyone in on our news. It was fun to watch everyone read the sign.

So, there you have it. Twelve weeks down, 28 to go. But, who’s counting?

Editor’s note: After proofing my blog I realized the title and the first photo makes it look like I am having twins. If anything, it was a headline grabber.

For quite some time now I’ve been waiting for Kaden to climb out of his crib. That boy climbs almost anything so Kyle and I were surprised it took him this long to get out his crib. About a month ago, he finally jumped ship. I thought to myself, “Great. This is the end of sanity as I know it. He’ll be jumping out of bed in the middle of the night, coming into our room before the crack of dawn or worse, he’ll get hurt in a really bad fall.” But none of those things happened. He still walked willingly to bed at 8:30 each night and slept peacefully until 7:00 in the morning. But when he did wake up, he was ready to go and showed us so by letting himself out of bed. No biggie. He can’t get out of his room because he hasn’t mastered door knobs yet.

I spoke too soon.

Here he comes one morning walking down the stairs as I hurried out the door for work. Kyle had a funny look on his face as he turned from the stairs to me pulling out of the garage. He showed me a smiling boy. “Crap. I really better figure out what to do now.” So, I enlisted the help of friends on Facebook and asked for suggestions. I still wasn’t sure what to do and I struggled with the idea of installing door knob protectors that would prevent Kaden from getting out of his room. As long as he isn’t lurking in the night, I don’t see a problem with him coming out of his room. I don’t want him to feel trapped.

So, Kyle converted the crib this weekend to a toddler bed, which essentially involved removing the front face of the crib. Basically, it looks like a daybed. Kaden was so excited about his bed he was jumping all over it. I may or may not have taught him how to jump on the bed.

Then came the first test. Nap time on Friday afternoon. He got up once and waltzed right out the door. Kyle just marched him back in and put him down again. And, then… he stayed! At bedtime, he went down without a fuss. He fell out once the first night, but he didn’t cry. I just heard the thump. When I went into the room he was hunched over on the floor. I think he was planning to just sleep there. But, I put him back in bed, and the rest is history.

Last weekend I bought a potty seat for Kaden. Not sure how or when I was going to attempt this thing called potty training, I brought it home much to Kaden’s delight. He calls it “toy-yet” and likes to carry it around the house. I keep explaining that toilet needs to stay in the bathroom. On Saturday, I randomly decided to plop Kaden down on his seat to see what he would do. And, he actually went #1. I squealed with excitement and we high-fived. He was then so excited and proud that he kept at it. Of course I had to make it a family affair and bring Kyle in to the bathroom to see what was happening. More high-fives!

Not his potty, but funny nonetheless

Kaden successfully used his potty again yesterday.

These two events made me realize something about being a parent. We put so much pressure on ourselves and anticipate the worst because of other people’s horror stories, that sometimes we don’t just let things happen. We expect everything to be an “event” and sometimes there is no drama. What it boils down to is we don’t give our children enough credit. Maybe we don’t give ourselves enough credit.

So, I’m going to celebrate the small things and be proud of all the milestones along the way. And, hey, I’m going to ask you to remind me about this when it comes to training Kaden on going #2. Thanks in advance.

How’s that you ask? Follow me.

1. Kaden is king. He rules the roost. He runs the show. How is that possible? It’s easy when he repeatedly asks for Dora or Kayu (I don’t even know who Kayu is, or whether I am spelling his name right) when Kyle is watching football. We change the channel, Kaden stops and listens. He’s the selfish roommate who wants to be in charge of the TV remote.

2. Dinner time is play time and one big mess. It’s impossible to get Kaden to eat what we’re eating. Throughout dinner we rummage through the fridge to find other things this child may or may not want. There is no such thing as favorite foods. He liked chicken yesterday. Not today. He gobbled up every morsel of macaroni last weekend. Not today. Fruit is a slam dunk. Not today. Dinner time often turns into Kaden creating his own culinary masterpiece. He’ll stuff the peas in his bowl of yogurt. He’ll mash cheese and spread it on his grapes. He usually ends a meal with dumping the bowl on top of his head. And, guess who cleans up this natural disaster? Mom and dad, aka, the other roommates.

3. We don’t know what he’s saying. While I’m pleased to say my little guy is quite the talker, half the time I don’t understand the words coming out of his mouth. These words are very clear: water, juice, milk, ouch, it hurts, Maya (our beloved cat), crayon, diaper, blanket and shoes. The rest is a mystery.

4. He stinks. His sweaty feet smell. He farts. He poops. And, he plays in the dirt. He’s the unhygienic roommate in the bunch.

5. The house looks like a twister came through it. Clean the house, you say? Why bother, I ask? In 2.2 seconds crayons are on the floor, books are strewn all over the carpet, ten blankets cover the couch, hot wheels are waiting to brake an ankle and Elmo, Donkey and all their stuffed kin lay there like they banded together and agreed we should move for them. I can’t bother dreaming what a clean house looks like anymore.

6. Peace and quiet have ceased to exist. Nap time is about the only time one can take a moment, sit back and … what? There’s no time to relax. Laundry needs to be done. Dinner needs to be cooked. Grass needs to be cut. Bills need to be paid. Someone has to be responsible to keep a roof over our head, and I’m pretty sure it’s not the roomie whose only responsible chore to date is dumping cat food into Maya’s bowl.

7. I’m waiting for an accident. Like the roommate you know will find trouble, I am anticipating the day we rush Kaden to the ER for his first set of stitches. He climbs, he falls. He mounts, he falls. He jumps, he falls. I’ve seen this boy climb contraptions at playgrounds some kids twice his age wouldn’t dare. It’s bound to happen.

8. Dinner at a restaurant is challenging. We’re at that stage where he doesn’t want to be in a high chair, but he can’t sit in those beltless booster seats either. Kaden is all over the place making a nice dinner out nearly impossible. Do you want sugar, fries and salt with your water? Kaden would be happy to mix his specialty libation just for you!

9. Entertainment comes in all forms. Go for a bike ride, read a book, watch a cartoon, jump on the bed, build forts, dance to music, wear silly hats, play hide and go seek. Anything to keep him occupied and wear.him.down.

10. Stroke his ego. Isn’t that what all male species need? I must tell that boy a dozen times a day how cute he is, how much I love him, how smart he is and how he is the funniest 22 month old boy in all of Las Vegas. Yep. And, I believe every word of it. I may turn my stinky, obnoxious all-boy roommate into a self-centered beast, but at least he’ll always know he is loved.

Summer started with a bang when Kyle, Kaden and I ventured out on a 2 week trip across the Midwest. The vacation spree did not disappoint, and more importantly, either did Kaden. I was fully expecting travel with an 18 month old to be, well, not so much fun. But, Kaden turned out to be a great travel companion. He didn’t miss a beat. He napped normally and slept in almost every day we vacationed. It was like we never left home, and no matter we went, his routine went undisturbed. Every parents dream!

We flew into Omaha over Memorial Day Weekend and visited with Kyle’s dad and best friends. We took Kaden to the Omaha Zoo and enjoyed the early summer weather. We rented a car and made our way to our next destination, which was Chicago. Going to Chicago was very exciting, and sort of personal for me because I was born in Illinois but never spent time in the Windy City. We ate deep dish pizza til our hearts were content and walked many a mile admiring the architecture and beautiful buildings. I even had a chance to see an old friend from school. But the best part was Wrigley Field. I’ve wanted to experience a Cubs game at Wrigley all my life, and the stadium did not disappoint. It was a bit emotional since my dad was a huge Cubs fan and had been to that stadium when he was a kid. I just know he would have loved to hear all about the game and my day at Wrigley.

At Wrigley Field

The three of us left straight for Peoria from the baseball stadium to visit my family. We had so much hanging out with my Aunt Angie and Uncle Bill. While I can’t divulge the kind of debauchery that took place after we all had a few drinks, I can say raccoons are mean little rascals who aren’t too scared of fireplace pokers.

From Peoria, the boys and I headed to South Dakota. We stayed with Kyle’s aunt and uncle (on his mother’s side) who live on a farm in a very tiny town. Lots of family came out to see us and meet Kaden for the first time. We also linked up with Kyle’s family on his dad’s side. We must have seen nearly 50 aunts, uncles and cousins in SD!

Our trip came full circle as we left Sioux Falls and drove back to Omaha. From there, we flew back to Vegas. It sounds like a whirlwind trip, but I have to say, it was by far one of my favorite vacations. We had just enough time in each town to visit family, and I had the best travel buddies.

After we got back from the Midwest, life did not slow down. In July, Kyle headed to Denver for a concert with our brother-in-law. They took their bikes and made a weekend trip out of it. Kyle’s sister came to Vegas with the kids so we could all hang out while the guys did boy things.

An opportunity to travel to New York popped up when Kyle was asked to fly to New York City for work in early August. I was hesitant to spend the money on another trip, but really, who could pass up NYC? I left Kaden behind with his grandparents and set off for the Big Apple as Kyle’s work week ended. We hadn’t had a vacation alone in almost 3 years, so it was nice for us to get away. We walked the city, bar hopped, ate good food, took in a broadway show and ran in the rain in the middle of the night. Memorable.

Just a month after New York, we drove up to Utah for Labor Day Weekend. I think it’s the third year we’ve gone there to hang out with the in-laws over the holiday weekend. It’s always a good time.

And, that’s not it. One week after Utah, Kyle and I took off for San Diego. Kyle’s beloved Vikings were playing the SD Chargers for the home opener and we were able to buy my uncle’s tickets since he is in Afghanistan. This was a quick 24 hour trip, but we had a blast.

And, so here we are. Fall. This month Kyle and I have already been to wedding showers, bachelor and bachelorette celebrations, a wedding in Sacramento… and will be attending another wedding this weekend. I’m looking forward to a slower pace in the next couple of months, when I can bake pumpkin treats and drink hot apple cider, while cuddling with my 2 besties.

This is my favorite time of year.

Chicago water fountain

Playing in sprinklers in SD

At the zoo in Omaha

As I scrolled through the mundane updates posted since I last looked, I saw a friend’s status: “RIP Jaime Marrero.” I felt an instant rush of blood flow through my veins and my pulse quickened. I swallowed a pit that sank to the bottom of my empty stomach.

Jaime and I went to high school together. He was a senior when I was a freshman at Eldorado. He was a wrestler on the best team in Clark County. He was a small guy with a big personality. I had already known Jaime because he was also a friend of my sister’s, who was closer in age to him than me. We had an instant connection. Not romantic, just friends. We went to the Homecoming dance together. He arrived at my house in a limo and we were off to Ricardo’s restaurant with some friends. Ha ha. Ricardo’s. Not the best Mexican place in town, but popular and affordable for high school kids.

We had a fun night and remained friends. Jaime graduated and we had only recently connected on Facebook. He was married with two young kids. But, on Tuesday there was some activity on his page. Rare since he wasn’t a regular poster. He changed his status from “married” to “single” and a few people commented they were sorry. He didn’t reply. On Wednesday morning, he was dead.

His wife posted the news on his Facebook page late that night and then the page flooded with condolences. Some people asked, “how? what happened?” But no one has offered information. More family has since thanked everyone for their kind words and promised to let us know about services.

While I haven’t seen Jaime in years, the news hit me hard. He was too damn young. He had a six and two year old. Totally unfair. And while I don’t know the details, I fear the worst.

As I try to absorb the news, I read another friend’s blog. Her dad is dying of cancer. My heart aches. Then I wake up this morning and she let us know that her dad passed away last night. I cried.

I haven’t had a good cry in awhile and let me tell you… I broke down. Standing in the bathroom, I could hear Kaden playing with his Mickey Mouse plane in the family room. I hunched over the sink and bawled like a baby.

I guess I needed it. Father’s Day is this Sunday and my father is not here. He never got to meet his second grandson. He didn’t see me get married. I still think of him every day, and whenever a friend loses a parent, I grieve all over again. I hurt for them because it’s a pain I know too well. It’s like it happened yesterday, though it’s been almost six years since I watched my father transcend to heaven.

I’m just… sad. Jaime’s children will likely be burying their father as other’s spend it with theirs. My friend Kim won’t have her father to call up on Sunday, because she too will be planning a funeral. This is when life sucks. It’s when you want to scream that it’s unfair.

Please, I’m not looking for sympathy. I just… am in a strange mood from all of this. I just needed to share.

This is a serious struggle for me. I am a Catholic, but I haven’t been to church in almost 4 years. I didn’t get married in a church, and I don’t pray. I try, but then I forget to do it. Sorry, God.

When I was pregnant, you probably read my post about Kyle and I debating whether to raise our son Catholic or just guide him through life believing in God and allowing him to make his own choices. I was adamant that I wanted the latter. Kyle was on the opposite side of the pew and asked me, “What are you going to teach him? Are you going to let him choose or follow any religion he wants?” Well, I don’t know. But, can’t you believe in God and not be Catholic? I mean, what kind of example are we setting for him anyway? We don’t go to church (even on holidays), we don’t confess, we eat meat during Lent, and I’m pretty sure we sin regularly. But, we still believe in God.

Again, if you know me truly, you know that I have major guilt. All the time. I obsess over things I feel bad about. I doubt my decisions and things I have done or said. So, what do I do after Kaden is born and I have time think? I develop guilt over not having him baptized. So, here I am, 18 months later, and I finally decide I am going to have my son baptized before he turns two.

So what do I do next? Well, in typical Crystal fashion I started to research my faith to get a better understanding of it. I downloaded “Catholic for Dummies” on my iPad. Yep, you read that correctly. Just because I am Catholic doesn’t mean I know anything about it. Honestly, I have been fighting church since I was a kid. I don’t know why. I can’t explain it to you. But, my relationship with my faith has been sort of like those with my ex-boyfriends. One minute I love it and I want to be with it all the time. I’ll even spend every Sunday with Him. Then I retreat. No, I don’t think I am ready for this. Maybe I need a break. Two years later, can we get back together? I’m ready now. I’ll even receive communion and get confirmed.

What does this mean? Well, I will tell you. I recall begging my mom to not force me to go to catechism classes when I was a little girl. I did not like Sunday school. I managed to dodge church until I was in high school. My then Catholic boyfriend wanted me to go. I did. I even liked it. But, I was always lost. I didn’t know the prayers nor the hems, and I couldn’t receive communion. Then he gave me an ultimatum. Get confirmed or I will never marry you. What?!?! Well, if you know me (again), then you know that was an instant invitation to rebel. Hell no! Guess we’re not getting married.

Then I went to college. The cute little church on the corner of the university stared at me as I walked to class every day, daring me to enter. I finally obliged. In my third year of college I decided it was time to talk to God. I am doing this!! I took adult classes and had my first Holy Communion and Confirmation. My then boyfriend who threatened me with non-marriage was my sponsor. Nice.

I admit, it felt good to officially become a Catholic. It was sort of a coming-to-age experience. But, for some reason shortly after that spiritual time I got lost in the shuffle. And, as I reflected on this adult decision I made, I wasn’t sure I learned anything at all.

So, here I am, reading a book for Dummies. And now I am even more confused. I’m struggling with the things I am reading, like the part that I am supposed to believe every word in the Bible is the truth. That alone is asking me to dig down deep inside and ask myself questions I am uncomfortable answering. I’m torn. Does this make me a bad Catholic? According to Dummies, yes it does. I don’t want to be a bad Catholic. Please understand that what I am feeling doesn’t mean I have no faith or that I don’t believe in God. Because I do. I just have an opinion and it doesn’t fall in line with the Church doctrine.

What do I do now? What do I do with my wonderful baby boy? Do I set aside my feelings and follow through with this important sacrament of baptism, or do I teach my son that there is a God who watches over all of us without declaring his faith for him? I really could use your advice so that I can make the best decision with my husband.

Time escapes me.

Since 2011 began, Kyle, Kaden and I have been quite busy. So here is what you may have missed:

I joined the Junior League of Las Vegas. The organization promotes volunteerism while developing the potential of women and improving the community. It’s been quite an experience so far. In addition to monthly meetings, members are assigned to various committees that have their own goals and missions. As a first year provisional, you aren’t on a committee. I’ll find out this weekend which committees I will be assigned to for the next year. I look forward to seeing what I can accomplish with other hard-working women in our Southern Nevada community.

Kyle sold two houses early in the year, and he continues to work with a couple of clients. Real estate can keep him quite busy on the weekends, but I don’t mind and I am extremely proud of him.

We have a yard! Kyle and I finally decided to install grass so Kaden has a place to play. And, it was so worth it. We spend so much time in our backyard now. The three of us enjoy being out there and Kaden loves playing outside.

K-man learning to swing a club

Friends and family. We had lots of visitors since the new year. Two of Kyle’s best friends were in Vegas at different times. And, we had a slew of family come in for a surprise 60th birthday party for Pat.

A baby shower. My good friend Sarah just had her first little girl. In April, all 3 of us traveled to Salt Lake City, where Kyle’s sister and her family also live. It was a great weekend with friends and family.

Just for the fun of it… we went to a Cubs game here in town, celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary and St. Patrick’s Day all at once, went to a Brandon Flowers concert and celebrated Easter with a big feast and egg hunt for Kaden.

This month we celebrate Mother’s Day, then take a trip to Panguitch Lake for my sister and brother-in-law’s 2oth wedding anniversary. The following weekend the Zuelkes are going on a whirlwind excursion through the Midwest. We’ll visit Omaha, Chicago (Wrigley too!), Peoria and Sioux Falls. This is our big vacation this year. I know, exciting! Ha! It really is though since we like spending time with family.

I’d like to say things might quiet down after June, but I am sure they won’t. Kyle is already hinting at a trip to Denver in July and a Vikings game in San Diego in September. All this and 2 very special weddings to attend in October. After that, well you know the rest of the story. HOLIDAYS!!

I’ll wrap up with a quick summary of Kaden and his developments. He is 17 months and smart as a whip. He honestly amazes me. He has more teeth than I count, because he won’t let me look. He climbs up and down the stairs all by himself. He puts phones (fake and real) and TV remotes up to his ear and pretends to have a conversation. He loves going for runs and bike rides in his Chariot trailer/jogging stroller. He really, really, really wants to drink out of cups without lids and it’s a bonus if it has a straw. His words consist of puppy, kitty cat, dada, mama, ball and cookie. He is a picky eater, but when he likes something… his appetite is huge. And, he knows how to take out the trash. No joke. He’ll drag a garbage bag to the garage, where we then put it in the trash bins. He is happy and healthy and that is all I need!

Here’s a sample of Kaden’s daily life through photographs. Happy summer to all!

Gardening

Being goofy

Eating PB&J sandwich

He is a pretty happy kid